What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Scoop on some Poop

As you might figure this blog post is about poop. Not just any poop, dog poop to be precise. My dog Aria's poop to be even more precise. But to think it is only about poop would be foolish. In fact it is much more than poop, far beyond than any poop canine or human. It is about something deeply profound that touches our life in magical ways.

So here is the story. Friday night I took my dog Aria out for a walk. It was just another hour long leisurely walk as usual. The only difference is that our fall walks take place in the dark. The sun sets early these days and I'm not used to walking well before 7:30 PM. During the summer this means walking in bright vibrant sunshine with the sun up in the sky in all its glory. These days it means catching the final wispy rays of sunlight and bidding adieu to the soft orange glow in the horizon, then walking under the stars.

Most of my walk is in civilization. I live in Wisconsin though, on the far western outskirts of Mad Town. That means there are those stretches in my walk which tend to pass open undeveloped areas. That means undeveloped areas without street lights. If you are a dog owner you probably guessed by now, that it is in this rural middle of nowhere pitch black darkness they like to poop. If you are a responsible dog owner like me you grope about, hand in plastic bag, slithering through unmowed grassy overgrowth to get to that poop.

If you have technology then you probably try to use the ineffective soft glow from your cell phone. It is helpful in highlighting all the odd shapes and forms of objects laying in the grass. However, it is quite ineffectual in separating turd from stone. Not anymore friends. No longer am I dependent on outdated technology.

As soon as my dog pooped in the dark, I whipped out my Droid X, a sexy beast of a phone. I went to the market place on Verizon's super cool 3G network. I downloaded DroidLight and MaxFlash, two awesomely free applications within seconds on super fast 3G. DroidLight lets me use my camera flash as a powerful LED light, while MaxFlash turns my screen into a bright flashlight.

Technology makes me a God amidst mortals. There maybe darkness all around, but I can say "Let there be light". With a wave of my Droid and a few taps, there will be light. I create light in darkness. I illuminate souls in the darkness. I am empowered to see clearly and scoop up the poop.

Technology is such a profound and beautiful thing. I hope your life has been touched by my life changing experience. Through my words, I hope you too can share the calling of higher powers (Droid) and share connectivity something larger and better than us (3G networks). Amen!