What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Ten Awesomely Awesome Endings for DMG

I wrote this post in good humor a long time back when it was announced DMG would end. Going by my better judgment, I decided not to post it to avoid arguments in an already chaotic forum. So here is the post in its full glory.

I don't watch DMG. However, in my short term as moderator here; I have learned a whole lot. For example I used to think American politics was polarized between the liberals and conservatives, red state, blue state. Boy was I wrong, shiver me timbers, if the polarization of DMG was the landscape of American politics then forget the secession and civil war would seem like a relaxing day by the pool side. I used to be terrified of the likes of Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and their tea partying followers. But now I shudder at the thought of tea parties, coffee parties, breakfast clubs, supper club, milk and cookie parties, cookie and milk parties and all the factions that potentially could be partying. It is not all bleak though. It has been a positive experience. Most importantly, I know that if they ever bring a crappy DA on Law & Order or if they eliminate my favorite contestant on DWTS, I can take it up with Congress. In fact if they eliminate Bristol Palin, I will make it a legislative issue of highest order. Sarah Palin will back me. 

Unfortunately, the show is coming to an end and its not easy for some to let go. Moreover, there is some issue with the ending. Its not appealing to all people, and we are approaching that uncivil war point. So in return for all the invaluable experience and knowledge gained through DMG, I thought it apt to make a Lincolnesque gesture to create some antebellum peace.

Here is my contribution – 

Ten awesomely awesome endings that should make everyone like so totally happy

The Inception - Chris Nolan's sci-fi caper has been the most talked about film of the year. How awesome is the concept of shared dreams, stealing/planting ideas and just totally (censored) with our minds? The show ends with a group of a dozen most ardent DMG fans waking up in the CV lab. That was  one heck of a shared dream that spanned two seasons. Too bad the dosage was incorrect and they woke up before we could know the end.
Spinoff Potential: DMG stars share a dream and entangle fans in amorous twists and capers. Ah sweet revenge. 

The Seventh Heaven – This happy family soap drama started out with Eric and Annie Camden and their kids, by the end of it most Camden kids had gone on to bigger and better things. The process is simple introduce one new character and story arc ever episode. By the time the show is done the audience is like SR/AR? Who SR/AR? Were they even on the show?

Spinoff Potential: The show started in Sanjeevani hospital, and now it is about some volunteer workers in rural India. Nothing matters, the show just goes on in tangents.

The X-Files – Alright X-files fans were finally appeased when their beloved Fox Mulder came back after being abducted by aliens. But the opposite can work very well too. Just have aliens come in and abduct the three leading stars. If you loved them pretend that the aliens gifted each their own planet to rule. If you hated them pretend that the aliens conducted very nasty experiments on them.
Spinoff Potential: A science fiction show with DMG stars lost in Space. Captain Vyom anyone?

The Hannah Montana – She has the best of both worlds, chilling out slow, then she rocks out the show. If ordinary girl Miley Stewart can live in her two worlds, then why can't our Riddhima. Sometimes a girl just needs to chill one day and rock out the next. I'm not sure Disney would approve, but this really is not about Disney.

Spinoff Potential: Pick your poison – Big Love or Desperate House Husbands?

The Star Wars – Can you imagine the plight of Luke and Leia shippers after they discovered that the couple were actually brothers and sisters? As a child I was a Luke and Leia shipper and have spent my adulthood in denial. Either way, pulling a Star Wars is the most awesomely sadistic thing to do, a double whammy is even better. In a devilish twist of fate both Arman and Sid turn out to be Doctor Gupta's illegitimate sons.  If you thought EMA was too much, boy are you in for a heart attack.

Spinoff Potential: An animated series called the "Intern Wars". It's about all those other people in hospitals who do surgeries, treat patients and all that jazz.  \

The Law & Order – What do you do if you are Dick Wolf and need to get rid of a character, but raving fan following might have you get her back? Simple, kill her off. Haha not really. She simply pretends to get killed so that she can get into victims protection plan with a fake identity and bust a gang of drug lords and then magically reappear. Riddhima has uncovered a heinous organ transplant racket and fakes her death and goes undercover. Both Armaan and Sid mourn her (fake) death. 

Spinoff Potential: A crime drama busting illegal rackets. For some reason Riddhima is a trained detective

The Jenny Schecter – Popular lesbian soap drama ended with the dead body of one of the main characters found floating in a pool. While the show ended, it did not matter who ended up coupling with whom and who had slept with whom on the chart. What really mattered was who killed Jenny Schecter? So we end with the dead body of Riddhima found floating in a pool. The question is not if she slept with Armaan or Sid. The real question is who killed her? Armaan or Sid? 


Spinoff Potential: First  the interrogation tapes are aired as an India forums exclusive. Then if a channel picks it up we carry on the show with Armaan and Sid in the slammer. Maybe we can have some Keller/Beecher action like Oz. 


The How I met your mother – The plot device of this hit comedy is amazing. It is hard to imagine that this wildly popular series is all about this one guy telling his kids how he met their mother. All these seasons and he has met a whole lot of people, but not the mother yet. While the show is fabulous, you wonder what does all this have to do with meeting the mother. Anyway, in our take on it DMG ends with Armaan and Sid telling their kids "And that is how we met your dear aunt Ridz". Bang! Kapow! She is just the Robin. A love interest, a friend but NOT THE MOTHER.

Spinoff potential: Stay tuned kids, because we still need to find out who the mother is. Hopefully, both Armaan's and Sid's kids have two separate mothers. But who knows….. 


The Lost Survivor- This one packs the power of two in one. Lost is just was one of those oh so intriguing mysterious shows, and we simply enjoy celebrities enduring torture of bugs and snakes in the wilderness. So why not end the series finale with a plane carrying all three leads crash on a desert island and leave them stranded.

Spinoff potential: We could make it a reality show with all three fighting for survival on that island. Who gets the girl? Why don't we do an old school battle? Whoever builds the hut, starts the fire, hunts the food and cooks the meal gets the girl. We could extend the battle for eternity.

The General Hospital – Ah G.H! The revered God of all hospital soaps!! There is nothing like G.H.  It probably started when our grandparents were conceived and is still going on. Their secret to their success is total drama. Like so totally drama. Armaan, Sid, and Riddhima all get into a massive car accident. Arnaan dies but not without donating his brain, heart, lungs and liver to Riddhima. But he is not totally gone, he is cryogenically frozen. Meanwhile, Sid survives  but his face is totally mangled. It is reconstructed with plastic surgery but now he looks like Armaan. Now SR and AR fans can be happy because we have a bizarre case of SARs. He looks like Armaan, talks like Armaan, acts like Armaan – but it really, really, really, really is Sid and you just don't ditch someone who went through all that trauma and surgery. Remember looks don't matter.

Spinoff Potential: Hey why spinoff? It never ends remember? Years down the line Riddhima dies of a new pandemic. A distraught Sid plans to bring her back to life. He grafts her remnants onto Armaan's cryogenically frozen body and then conducts Frankenstein like experiments to electrocute the AR mutant back to life. Now Sid and Riddhima are united and continue their love forever. But remember Sid looks like Armaan now and Riddhima is actually grafted onto Armaans cryogenically frozen body brought back to life. Its like a whole lot of Armaan on Armaan action, almost twincest if you will. It is SR, AR, AS, SS, AA everything you will all rolled in one. Now that's what I call awesome.

The above suggestions were written in good humor with the intention of bringing out a few laughs and hoping that people forget and set aside their petty bickering for a while and laugh at the whole absurdity of it all. Hopefully, people take it in the right spirit and no one is offended.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Story of the Thanksgiving Fast

This story was written a few months ago during Ramadan, while I pondered why Julia Roberts would Eat, Pray, Love but all our desi festivals appear to follow Fast,  Pray,Love, Eat, Eat, Eat  in that order.

History became legend, legend became myth.

Why we fast for Thanksgiving

In the year 2012 Mr and Mrs. X immigrated from India and were curious about Turkey. That Thanksgiving Mrs. X bought a whole turkey and decided to roast it. Since the 15 pound bird took five hours to roast and the new couple were anxious if their bird would be done right, they spent their time pacing in the kitchen restlessly. They fasted five + hours till the bird was done and carved.

Down the road the progeny of Mr. and Mrs. X realized that the whole Thanksgiving meal involves a lot of food and a lot of pigging out. To compensate and eat a bigger meal they decided to skip breakfast and lunch and dive straight into the meal when ready mid afternoon. They fasted all day till the bird was done.

Somewhere down the line their great grandchildren moved back to India. Since they did not have Turkeys in India the family ordered Turkey online. It was not good quality. Next year on they started raising their own Turkeys and slaughtering them. Somewhere down the line again Thanksgiving fell during Diwali, and prayers and offerings became a part of Thanksgiving.

Now here in the year 3012 Thanksgiving is a very auspicious religious holiday. The day begins with a suryanamaskar at dawn. You fast all day till dusk. At dusk the fast is broken by passing around a chalice of wine and Marie wafters are dipped and eaten. A ritual slaughter of a turkey is conducted, the blood is offered as sacrifice to Turkrani devi and the turkey is roasted. There is ritual chanting while the turkey is cooked to make the meat auspicious and various prasad like sweet potato pie, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes are offered to Turkrani devi. Once the Turkey is consumed the bones are washed, cleaned and carved into delicate snowflake shapes and hung in trees. The holy spirit of Turkrani devi resides in the bones and wards of evil spirits and protects families during harsh winter.

There is a temple for Turkrani devi in Plymouth MA. In the temple there is the holy rock of the devi with the numbers 1620 carved on it. This rock was set there that year by Turkrani devi opening a new world of opportunities to engineers and doctors from the subcontinent. A holy pilgrimage to the rock of Turkrani devi is recommended at least once in a lifetime. 

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Sarc attack

Ah the internet, such a wonderful and beautiful thing. What would our world be without the wonderful worldwide web that ensnares and entangles the whole world together. One of the best things about the internet is anonymity. While we are people, we really are not people - we are merely electric signals, data traveling on the information superhighway, illuminated electrons on the screen. This anonymity and aura of masks and unknown identities lets us judge, make assumptions and make some very broad generalizations about morality and character.

Sarcasm is another beautiful thing. In the world of rhetoric, there is nothing that can achieve the lofty grounds of sarcasm. A bit of scathing sarcasm with a hint of disdain can pierce through hide, flesh and bone better than the sharpest powerful weapons known to man. I can testify to it, sarcasm is a rhetorical weapon I have much often used as my refuge. It is not the best or polite thing to do, sometimes it really is not nice - but sometimes sarcasm is an extremely effective tool that gets the point across.

Anyway I wanted to share a brilliant piece of sarcasm and more today. It is brilliant because it combines sarcasm with the beauty of internet and "electronic judgment". Actually even more brilliant because its directed against me (and some others). I made an argument proposing the legalization of prostitution on a forum. Yes it is a controversial stance and I'm prepared to bear the brunt of criticism and consequences. In fact I'd be taken aback if there was not a lynch mob waiting to stone me for such sacrilege. And I think I've run fairly close to what I feel is an "electronic lynch mob" with "electronic stones" pounding out my screen.

Here we go


Year: 2012
Month: December
Location: Divided Forums of Debate Mansion (DFDM) headquarters, Virtual World


Act 1, Scene1

President Shades is talking animatedly on the phone behind closed doors in her plush, masterfully designed, oval office overlooking the world famous fuzzy-logic museum located on the same block as the dreaded Nike sweatshops. 

Vice-president Zouro barges in.

President Shades, with an impatient wave of her hand, motions him to be seated in the comfort-filled executive leather high back chair with swivel tilt adjustments while she is wrapping up the phone call. For some strange reason, there is extreme disturbance in the air waves so Shades is practically shouting at this point.

"Oh puhlease. Spare me the moral frown down. I don't give a crap to what you think. I am the president and what I say goes around here. Destroy all the eggs immediately. I repeat, destroy all the eggs immediately. Why?! What do you mean why?! I don't need to tell a dang thing to your mask face, that's why. What? You insist?! The hell you do! Alright, then! Here goes. They cause periods and babies, dummy! Is that really hard to understand?! What? You say I myself was a baby too sometime back?! Listen, dunderhead! If I don't like caviar, does it mean I am going to destroy the fish? No, right?! What? What did you say? Me hating the eggs is not the same as me hating caviar? The equivalent would in fact be a fish hating the caviar? I can't hear you. Speak up. I said speak up and talk loudly. The real equivalent would be a fish hating the caviar because the caviar (sic) causes periods and babies in fish?! You know nothing, dunce! Now do what I say. End of this discussion!!!"

Slams the phone down and looks at the vice president with a deep frown on her face.

"Yeah?!"

Zouro: "I just came here to tell you that I really like you"

Shades < with much softer facial expressions>: "Awww! I like you too."

Zouro: "I like the way you talk. I like the way you write"

Shades: "I like the way you argue. I like the way you write"

Zouro: "Please complete this sentence for me. You like me because __________?"

Shades: "You argue well. Now, please complete this sentence for me. You like me because ________?"

Zouro: "You write well"

Couple of seconds go by. Awkward silence all around.

Shades, breaking the silence…"What of this fool, Mister.K?! He is threatening to publish a bunch of articles in his online syndicated column, on the plights of sex workers and exploited children working day and night in your sweatshops."

Zouro: "Well, I heard some of that too. Why don't we just dub his operations as 'Silly' and close down his syndicated column? Haven't we done that in the past? Didn't we pass an ordinance to that effect? That whatever is not up to our standards and whatever we deem is not silly is what is officially pronounced and treated as viable? Everything else is silly"

Shades: "I am afraid we can't do that. The masses seem to like him"

with a menacing look, completely antagonized by now> "I remember I told that fool to mind his damn business the last time he tried to meddle in my private affairs. See, how I conduct my business in my sweatshop is my prerogative, not his. If I want to employ underage children and make them work 12 hours a day with minimum wages and no health benefits, by Jove, I will do it. How am I wrong? Matter of fact, those children should be kissing the ground I walk on. They should appreciate that I am a generous guy who is resplendently considerate and empathetic. I am doing them all a huge favor and this is the thanks I get? Without my sweatshop, they wouldn't even have a job. What do they know about supply and demand? They hardly attended kindergarten…"

 Shades: "Hey, hey, hey!!! Calm down please. Be that as it may, my concern has more to do with how he is going to portray the so-called plights of these sex workers. Looks like he has gathered some stats on how millions of despondent children and women are being forced into prostitution all over the world. Looks like he has garnered key figures on how these wretched people are abused, beaten, raped, maimed, physically and psychologically battered, left to die on the streets with sexually transmitted diseases, and in some instances murdered brutally. He is saying this is all WRONG. I don't get it. He is hopping mad. He says women's bodies are not commodities like pork and beef. He is denouncing the whole service sector analogy of yours in the strongest possible terms. He asks what next, if we are going to brand women (sic) with AGMARK seals. He asks if we are going to establish a consumer complaint center like the Better Business Bureau so the Johns of this world could dial in and vent. He is saying we have no sense of right and wrong. He is going on and on. He is a madcap, I tell you."

Zouro <nonchalantly, with zero emotion>: "I fail to understand what all the hoopla is about. It's just sex between two consenting adults"

Shades: "I agree! You are telling me!!! But who will tell that fool, K, to see it our way? He is asking some very inconvenient questions. He is essentially saying that if people go by our rationale, even sex between 'consenting' siblings wouldn't not be considered immoral. Dowry wouldn't be considered illegal because, it's between 'consenting' parties"

Zouro: "I don't see anything wrong with any of that. As long as the transaction is transparent and the deal is between 'consenting'..."

Shades (cutting in): "I know. I know. Consenting adults. But what if STDs erupt and go out of control?"

Zouro: "Helllllllllllloooooooooooo!!!! Ever heard of condoms?"

Shades: "Well, looks like that didn't help and is not helping because people are still dying of AIDS and other fatal infections contracted sexually. Tell me one thing. What if babies are born to these sex workers with birth defects? Wait! Wait! I know what to do. We will just kill them. I am an overt proponent of that. You can find my award winning thesis on this subject somewhere in the annals. Aren't you an expert at digging out the record books and finding the appropriate files?"

Zouro: "That I am, but how about this? We could employ those people, born with birth defects as a result of unprotected sex with multiple partners, in my sweatshop as soon as they grow up a little. I think we could wait till they turn 5 or 6. There is a demand for good shoes you know"

Shades: "Of course!!! You are such a generous man! I like the way you think"

Zouro: "I like the way you think too"

Shades: ""Please complete this sentence for me. You like me because __________?"

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Before the vice president could complete his sentence, the Mayan prediction came true.

End of the friggin' world.

Luckily.
If it is not evident I'm Shades in this creative saga. I'm not sure what it stands for S(tupid)hades or s(lut)hades or s(ick)hades. I'm going to take it as S(uper)hades or S(pecial)hades. Zouro is another male member of the forum. Most sarcasm merely mocks your intelligence. It takes some ridiculous statement you made and calls you out on it so that you want to crawl under a rock. But the brilliancy of this piece that compels me to share it is that it goes above and beyond your everyday sarcasm. It does not stop at merely pointing out the fact that I have "fuzzy logic" or have the inability to make a point.

I think it is brilliant how a Midwestern hick, bleeding heart hippie liberal ends up with a plush fancy office in the same vicinity as the Nike sweatshop. Forget crawling under a rock, I'm perturbed if I should stop idealizing Blake Mycoskie as an entrepreneur all business aspirants should look up to for inspiration. I'm now all messed up and confused if I'm a bleeding heart liberal (commie bloody commie) or a ruthless capitalist king pin.

Well my confusion does not end at economics. I'm portrayed as fawning over my male vice president, you know softening up my expressions for him, talking sweet nothings of how we are so totally in awe with each other. I've been literally scratching my head going nuts trying to figure when exactly I portrayed such fawning and affection towards my vice-president this time. In fact we actually were at each others throats in some debates of the past. Is this some fucked up 1984 like situation - love is war type of thing. Or am I just sending the wrong kind of signals - cause this cross connection could be a really big problem.

But it gets better and better. Apparently I am evil sadistic scum who thinks it is alright to abuse, beat, rape, maim, psychologically and physically batter or even brutally murder women and children. I supposedly consider women as commodities and will be all for tattooing them with some brand names just like the Nazis did to the Jews in concentration camp. Ain't this whole internet thing grand. You can just brand someone you don't even know as sadistic, criminal, sexually abusive, Neo Nazi scum for having a different opinion. I really like this kind of magical powers, but seriously its making things really complicated. So now I am not supposed to cry or shed tears over disturbing episodes or think of womens rights, protecting innocent children, literally having my gut wrenched for the trafficked humans, sex slaves and abused immigrants. I'm not allowed to be soft like that anymore, I'm supposed to be getting off on it.

All this confusion and change is way too much for me to handle. I can't change myself so drastically just because I support a controversial viewpoint. How am I to change my soul to a black abyss for fulfilling the end of world prophecy? This is so hard to take. Anyway, I should not be letting some "electronic stones" bother me so much.

Although, I have to add just in case

Dear Mariska,

I am a huge fan of Law & Order: SVU. Your show has changed me. It has opened my eyes to a scary terrifying world, my naive eyes never knew. I've learned empathy for victims of some of the worlds most heinous crimes and their families. I've learned that the law is not black and white, but with many shades of gray and sometimes we need to go above or below the law for justice. SVU has inspired me to genuinely think beyond myself in terms of sex crimes.

I'm not sure what your stance on legalizing prostitution is. You could be for or against it. No I am not for prostitution. However based on research and putting together facts, I am in favor of legalizing it. I feel legalizing it is the lesser of the two evils in our world. Hopefully, this controversial opinion will not cause you to think less of me, lest we happen to meet someday. When I am successful enough I would like to donate time and money to your Joyful Heart Foundation. I also plan to work for Human Rights Campaign as an advocate someday. In fact I have made a pack with the powers that be, If I ever win a lottery of a million dollars or more, or start making that amount an annual salary only 25% will be mine. 25% is for our animal friends and mother nature who cannot speak for themselves. 25% will be donated for children's charities around the world and the remaining 25% is for HRC and organizations such as yours - for victims of hate crimes and abuse. Inshallah, I might get there someday.

PS: You may cuff me and slam me to the slammer anytime. I don't mind you punishing me for any of my opinions.

Alright now that business is taken care of I would like to share just a few more sarc and misc attack gems for entertainment purposes.

One doesn't need proficiency to use Google to look for stats. One only needs rudimentary skills in keying in the right search words and get instantaneous access to tons of information; information that is staggering and heart wrenching at the same time.   Of course, the scum would deliberately ignore the reality, as they have repeatedly done in the past.

To those interested: http://www.dreamcenter.org/new/images/outreach/RescueProject/stats.pdf

Out of the estimated 4 - 27 million people who are trafficked, 1 million are children exploited by the global commercial sex trade.

Allow me to put the rest of the trafficked "adults" on hold for the time being and focus on the children.

1 million children!!!! Somebody's young son, somebody's young daughter, somebody's little brother, somebody's little sister, taken to strange lands, given strange food, getting poked by strangers multiple times a day, crying themselves to sleep everyday, day after day, thinking about "back home", thinking about their parents, their siblings and their friends. Imagine just for a moment, just for a teeny tiny slice of your time, what they go through. Imagine what their loved ones go through.

Question (because we are still "debating") is do these children come under the "consenting adults" category? Question (because we are still "debating") is does this pass the litmus test of morality?

When these children grow up and become "full-time" sex workers, because their fate is sealed, hope turned bleak and they continue doing what they are doing, uneducated, not having instilled with the right values, not having access to any knowledge-base to distinguish right from wrong, resigned to their circumstances, still under the control of the organized crime ruling them with an iron hand, would they then come under the "consenting adults" category?

How prudent is it to draw a circle with a radius close to zero around an event and look at that event with a myopic vision and pass judgment? What behooves the responsible citizens? Look at the crime trail leading all the way to the red light districts and beyond or go to the red light districts, pay the pimp, have sex with the prostitute who didn't make a peep and accept it as consent?
Hmm, I never knew I proposed legalizing human trafficking and child pornography/prostitution.  In fact in one argument I clearly proposed reallocating vice resources to focus on sex crimes against minors.

The problem decent, conscientious human beings face when conversing with or attempting to converse with, criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers and their ilk is that the decent, conscientious human beings will automatically be christened as moral police by the criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers and their ilk, in a misguided attempt at slinging mud.

Fair enough. If they are aiding, abetting, indulging in activities that would be met with disapproval from the law and/or by their own people, dabbling in behavior that gets them closer and closer to the law and/or breaks their carefully constructed social image, when they realize that eventually they will get their comeuppance, everyone looks like a cop to them. What they don't realize is that being called a cop or being hailed as the moral police is not necessarily a bad thing. It is not something to be ashamed about. On the other hand, one would think, to be a person with no scruples, to be devoid of morals is something to be thoroughly embarrassed about. To be a hair's breadth away from messing up big time because they are being "guided" by their own of set of erroneous morals and not by the trifled moral police should worry them to no end.

Explaining the concept of morals to immoral people is like explaining the concept of color to a blind person. You could put it in a million words, read the definitions out loud, give examples but none of that will make any sense to them. They just don't know what it is "like" to have morals.

Here's the thing: if you have the capacity to reason, you would know what is moral and what is not. You would know what is just and what is not. If you don't know how to reason, at least rely on what the previous philosophers opined on this matter. Follow their reasoning methods to understand why prostitution is a social evil, why it is demeaning to women, and how it encourages slave trading.

Coming to legalization, the notions of morality and law are extremely tightly coupled. Don't scoff at morals and dismiss them with a hand wave foolishly. The law is supposed to reflect the basic principles of conduct (read morals) the society has accepted. So, if a society comprises of 200 people out of who 100 are clients and 100 are willing prostitutes, they could technically legalize prostitution. Heck, they could do anything they want, who cares?! But when it comes to countries it's a different ball game altogether. People can bitch and moan all they want but it's the stance of the government that matters.

I am personally glad that in US (except in Sin City), buying and selling of sexual "services" is still illegal and hope it remains that way. I am glad that the principles of conduct at the larger scale in this country are still not contaminated.

As for India, it looks like organized prostitution is still illegal which is a saving in disgrace. Looks like they tried to amend the Immoral Traffic Prevention Act   (emphasis on Immoral) in an attempt to criminalize the clients (Johns) but failed to do so. Hopefully they will succeed the next time they try to amend it. Hopefully they will do what Sweden is doing to the clients and the pimps.
Uff me and people on my side of the debate are criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers, indecent human beings with no morals. Isn't it so totally classy and conscientious to creatively typecast people you have never even met?

Hell of a time you picked to grow some balls son. Just when I have all the time in the universe to dedicate myself to this thread to thwart and destroy garbage. Human garbage that is.

I have seen better looking turds floating in my toilet bowl than the crap you post on this board, time and again. I chose to ignore your crap only because it's just harmless crap. But now this has gone too far. These threads could leave indelible impressions on young minds and I can't let scum corrupt young minds. I draw  a line there.

So now the garbage has stooped to attacking friends and family directly? Why is that not surprising? Oh! Because they are garbage?!

See, in all your posts leading up to my first reply on this thread, you never mentioned trafficking. You never mentioned children. You only exhibited your astounding naivety by always bringing up consenting individuals. Me along with at least 3 or 4 more people on this thread debunked that myth. So now to face save, you are kinda, just kinda, condemning prostitution involving children. Too late. You have been exposed for who you are and what you are.

To answer the highlighted text in red, consider if you could get this logic. If you don't, please don't be afraid to ask questions. I will oblige you. See, in our world, prostitution wouldn't even exist because we completely abolish it. So no question of our kith or kin taking up that profession. On the other hand, in your world, prostitution is a thriving business aided and abetted by immoral people such as yourself. So, in that world, what Angie asked is a perfectly valid question. So I will repeat the question myself: Would you let your daughter or sister or mother get into this profession because you see nothing wrong as long as as a)they are willing and b) they are willing (yeah! I know. Same option repeated)
This one is not directed to me at the fellow Zouro from the beginning. But the crass references to toilet bowls and turd was a surefire classic. I mean Borat would be hard pressed to come up with crasser ways to refer and talk to people.

Ain't the internet a beautiful place?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Celebrating Aria

Sometimes I feel cold, cold to the bone like being consumed by a slow gripping fever, cold especially in the heart. It is like a blow to my guts knocking all the air out of my lungs, leaving me gasping. A week has passed on and I’m in a better place. Life goes on, happier and cheerful things fill the horizon. However, every now and then I cry, not knowing why I cry. I keep praying for forgiveness, not knowing whom I am praying to and for what. Life goes on and it will be better, I know.

Have you ever experienced true and unconditional love? With all due respect to the beautiful humane bonds people share, you’ve probably never experienced something as blissful and divine unless you’ve owned a dog. I’ve been there done that. Human relations fade and change with times, we take people for granted, wittingly unwittingly we act in our selfish interests. Love, yes we humans experience great and unparallel love. But true and unconditional love is something only our canine best friends can offer.  

So it was with Aria. For almost four years she showered me every day with that true unconditional love and devotion, with all the uncanny loyalty, companionship and faithfulness God seems to have blessed dog with. I joke about it, but sometimes I do wonder – is dog just an anagram for God, for the presence of dog can certainly make one’s life turn from mundane to divine.

Aria was a good dog, nay great, fantabulous, awesome, the bestestest, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious dog ever and doggone it nobody who knew her can deny what an electrifying full of energy bundle of joy she was. She was a magical creature, truly she was. Before her my life was mundane, boring, less than ordinary. Then out of a blue, on my whim, she was there and she turned my life upside down. She taught me to care, she taught me to be responsible, she taught me respect and a whole lot of other stuff I thought I knew, but apparently had no freaking clue about. Most importantly she made me move, she made me play, she made me laugh and reminded me over and again of that little kid forever hidden within.

Life with Aria has been nothing but incredible. Who can forget that excited, exuberant welcome home even when you were gone for just five  minutes? How can you not look into those dewy brown eyes and feel like the most blessed person on earth?

She was a one funny and interesting dog. That goofy grin of a face and those long floppy ears that made her look like Jar Jar Binks. That baying like a wolf that you hated, loved to hate, but loved incredibly nonetheless. The love for belly rubs and the ten million funny spots she had all over. That weird ummmrrrrrrm as she blissfully enjoyed a full body scratch down. How she loved vegetables and picked spinach and cheese over meat. How she went crazy over pill pockets. How she was slowly and sneakily stretched till she almost pushed you off the couch. How she would stealthily cuddle with Lucky when no one was around. How she sat on the deck hours meditating. Her uncanny ability to always lose her bone into someplace impossible to get into. Her ill luck of always getting hurt, sick or bitten and her fighting spirit to bounce right back like nothing ever happened. Each and every bit of her quirky habits was nothing but pure joy.

Of course the best moments that I will cherish forever were our two hour plus walks, wandering and exploring the nearby parks and trails, savoring every bit what the bright Wisconsin springs and summers have to offer. Laying on park benches or the grass watching the skies roll by. Or just those lazy days chilling at home on the couch. Heck, I think I will even cherish those moments when she would not let me sleep at night or sleepy walks at 2 Am because she had an upset tummy. In fact every memory of Aria will be a joyous celebration of the bond between man and canine. After all she was my little baby and angel. 

The rundown:

On Sunday October 23rd Aria showed unusual possessive aggressiveness over food.

On Tuesday October 25th she bit my grandmother (mom’s mom). Unlike ever before, I was unable to calm or control her. Took her to the emergency vet, they said nothing was physically wrong.

On Wednesday October 26th I rushed home from work because she showed unusual aggressive behavior. Took her to the regular vet, same prognosis. Scheduled an appointment with a behaviorist over the weekend. That night things went crazy. She bit my grandfather (mom’s dad), then my mom who tried to protect him. I came to help and got her sitting, but she would not stop snarling and barking. She was uncontrollable. I could not hold her forever. In the process of removing her from the room, I was bitten.

On Thursday October 27th I made the emotionally gut wrenching and difficult decision of surrendering Aria. Against my inner nature I chose my human interests and family over Aria. Had it been just me alone or even me and mom/sister we would have kept her. Unfortunately, with elderly people living in the house, people who are unfamiliar with Aria, who cannot discipline and control Aria – I could not risk anyone else being hurt due to her. It was not right. Even with a behaviorist, I doubt others in my family had the time, energy and commitment to tame a beast of a dog. I had to do what seemed right for my family.
I chose not to know what happened with her. Best case scenario she is on a farm somewhere running wildly chasing rabbits, howling with the wind, with no one to care. Worst case and perhaps most realistic scenario, she gently and peacefully drifted into eternal slumber. All dogs go to heaven and perhaps she is living the best case scenario up there somewhere. The good thing is now there is one more good reason to actually look forward to the end of life, and gosh darn it change that one way ticket to hell to a better destination.

Regrets, resentments, anger, frustration, sadness, fondness, memories, joy, happiness, optimism, hope – it’s a muddled haze of emotions and I’m slowly finding my way through. I’ll get there. I’ve not told anyone or talked much about it, other than work where I had to. My sister and mom have done most of the telling and talking. I’ve always been just that emotional wreck kind of kid who simply cannot grow up and handle tough situations and emotions. Just a lost little child who is like hold me and comfort me. Love me and tell me that I have not failed. Please distract me and make me happy again, help me in my commitment to celebrate not mourn.

Silence pierces and screams aloud. Chaos might be hard to deal with, but its really silence that can consume from within. There are miles and miles to be walked before silence slowly transcends into tranquility. I've lived and learned. Now I know why some people cherish their wounds and rather let them bleed. My wounds are healing way to quickly for me. Sometimes when all is said and done, your physical wounds are all that is left of cherished memories. Your wounds are the only way to hold someone you love. Its not pain, but happiness and love. I at least hope to see some scars forever, yep just like that goofy sprained knee that acts up now and then.